As a “fashion blogger,” I try to stay current with style trends. Thus, I was aware that it was Fashion Week in New York. I was also aware that it was Fashion Week in Milan a few weeks ago. Yes, I’m clearly in the know.
But let’s be real for a minute. No matter how much I love fashion and looking stylish, I will never be a fan of Fashion Week. The fashions presented are not only expensive beyond a regular person’s salary, they are also absolutely ridiculous-looking. Yes, there may be one or two pieces from certain designers’ shows that are wearable for a normal human, but most of the styles and looks are pretentious. Case in point, these Star Wars-inspired togas from Rodart:
The actual dress is not horrible. I kind of like the white one on the right. But there’s nothing special about the cut, colors, or patterns used. Now, to the obvious, the hideous Star Wars’ characters printed onto the material. Why? Who is going to ever wear this? As a normal human, I rarely have the opportunity to wear a formal dress. However, if I did have a banquet or event to attend, I sure as hell would not be caught dead wearing this mess. Real human women like to feel pretty, glamorous, and classic when getting all dolled up. Wearing this concoction would elicit raised eyebrows and giggles behind hands, with “What the eff?!” looks exchanged between friends. Is that how you present yourself in public? I don’t. Plus I hate Star Wars.
This look screams, “I’m a stupid college girl who thinks binge drinking, posting drunk pictures on Facebook, and frat parties are the shit!” Except, as we real humans know, those Facebook photos will never go away and, when you are applying for a job, nobody will hire you and it will be solely because of this dumb sweatshirt. What you actually need, miss, is a shower, a hairbrush and some product, and a skirt that doesn’t look like it was hacked off Jebediah’s Amish wife.
This outfit is extra special. Clearly it’s created by DKNY, if I had to guess. I imagine that these pieces are not meant to be worn all together, but the fact of the matter is that I wouldn’t even wear them separately. I suppose if I found the pants (sweats?) at a deep discount, I might wear them as pajamas. If I had the sweatshirt in the closet, I would never purposefully choose it as a part of my weekend outfit. I just wouldn’t feel pretty or good about myself in it, and I don’t imagine many other women would either. I mean, if I was in the hospital and my husband had to bring me some clothes to wear home, I wouldn’t turn it away. I’m sure it would be warm. But only if I was in the hospital and didn’t have my own clothes.
I’m not quite sure if this is a dress or a coat. Either way, I want to get a Sharpie and try to get from the start of the maze to the finish. As a whole, this pattern isn’t awful. But that much of it and on such a tiny girl, it is overwhelming and hurts my eyes. Again, I cannot fathom reaching into my closet and choosing to wear this. Ever.
Yet another pattern fail. The cut and shape of the wrap and pants aren’t bad. If the items were worn separately, I imagine they would actually look quite nice. But together, and with that pattern, I’m just confused. I feel as though I’m in the desert looking at some handmade Native American itchy blanket. The whole outfit just looks like it would be itchy and hot.
I’m not even sure if this image is from NYFW or is just a spoof. It’s so very hard to take it all seriously. Let’s start on the left. First off, mister man has some rockin’ harem pants. Unfortunately they are too short and I can’t quite figure out what’s hanging off his pants. Is it a belt? Some kind of decorative shawl? The jacket isn’t bad, but the color of the pants and coat reminds me of dirty carpet.
The boy in the middle really wanted to commit to a tie. Unfortunately I’m reminded of a baby onesie with a cutesy printed tie and some trite phrase like “Lock up your daughters!” The pocket just confuses me, as it’s got some plaid trim and appears to be too low. Did the person who designed this just decide to stick a pocket somewhere on the shirt, like Pin the Tail on the Donkey?
And now to the far right image. This gentleman, and I use that term loosely, sure likes his chevron prints and feminine looks. I did not know that men’s shorts came in A-line, so that’s something I’ve learned. The jacket just has way too much going on. As a teacher, I know that we often have scraps leftover and, during indoor recess especially, the children enjoy using the mismatched scraps to create a card or picture. Surely this is what has happened. The designer’s mom had some leftover fabric and the rest is history. Ugly history.
The moral of this post is simple. While I know that not every outfit presented at NYFW is hideous, I just don’t understand the appeal. I like seeing the colors used and there are some stylish cuts and patterns. However, I really think the designers go overboard to get noticed. While this may seem like a good tactic for Miley Cyrus, for a designer it just makes you look silly and pretentious. I’ll stick to my realistic fashions, thank you very much.